Fake Zen Meditation #4

Enlightenment can be found in the setting sun, but if you look for it, it will not be there. For it is in the moon.

Look for it in the moon and you will not see it, for you will have gone blind from staring at the sun.

-Tzu Doku

Science vs. Religion

Can't you two get along? People from both of these camps spend so much time fighting that they no longer hear the wind in the trees, or see the stars in the sky. Come out of your claustrophobic labs and stale churches for five minutes, look up, listen, smell the air, feel the breeze on your skin, taste the rain.

Certainly you can find bits and pieces of your purpose and existence by tinkering with theories or studying ancient texts, but you will never know the greatness and depth of the universe if you don't let go and feel it for yourself.

I have found truth and beauty in both science and religion, and the funny thing is that they both seem to be hindered by the same flaws:
They are both incredibly arrogant, and both incredibly short sighted.

Wanted...Genius Psychopaths

-Are you a genius psychopath?

-Does everyday conversation with passing morons make you want to eat them? Or perhaps just vomit on them?

-When you are in social situations, do you feel anxious and think of ways to trap people at the gathering so that they have to kill each other to escape?

-Is your music preference limited to only classical with the exception of The Rolling Stones?

Everlasting Sunrise Clinic is looking for persons between the ages of 18 and 65 to take part in a clinical research study for the new drug Redrumin. Prior research has shown that Redrumin has been successful in curbing the urges to plot against the human race in remote mansions or dungeon-like lairs.

Subjects will be paid for time and travel!

Come back into the light, with Redrumin.

Call 555-6876 between 9 and 5 to schedule an appointment.

Fake Zen Meditation #3

The great tall tree cracks and breaks in the smallest breeze.

The humble small tree bends and sways through the strongest storms.

This is the path.

The humble small tree is arrested for taking a minor across state lines in a primer gray 1985 Monte Carlo.

This is not the path.

Exclamation Point Update

If you've been following my posts from the beginning, you know of the exclamation point that I believe has been following me. Well my friends, I'm afraid that the situation has gotten worse.

As it turns out, a family of exclamation points has moved into my neighborhood. Let me reiterate that I don't think ALL exclamation points are a bad form of punctuation, but I can tell that this group is trouble. At all hours of the night I'm hearing people scream "Yea!" and "Woohoo!" The noise and partying is out of control.

Two days ago, I'm out for a walk and I pass by their place. On the porch sits a big loud group of exclamation points, and with them now is a big group of those upside down exclamation points; fresh over from whatever the hell country they're from. You know, I try to be cool with everyone, but if these things are gonna swim over here and take jobs away from question marks, commas, and good God fearing periods then the least they could do is turn themselves right side up. This is America. And you know, at least American exclamation points know that their place is at the back of a sentence. These foreign upside down exclamation points are trying to come in at the front! My grandfather is probably rolling over in his grave.

One more thing. That shady exclamation point that I mentioned on March 27th still seems to be following me. Please keep an eye on me until things settle down here.

yours truly,

Sid

Things I've Realized Since Becoming a Father #2

Getting pee and poop on my hands isn't THAT big of a deal. If it was, I'd be dead by now.

Things I've Realized Since Becoming a Father #1

No matter how hard I try, I'm going to make a lot of mistakes.

The Temple of Perfection

Sid spent most of his life searching for the place of perfection. He always felt that perfection would come after he had achieved certain goals: graduating school, paying off debts, tending to poisonous relationships and so on. But every time he came close to what he was looking for, the end of the rainbow seemed to be just out of reach. It was like a dream, where the secrets of the universe are so close that one can smell their stardust, but the answers are always obscured by something or tucked away around a corner.

After a lifetime of spaces and voids drifted by, Sid sat in his car one morning at the break of dawn. The sun appeared in cloaks of pink and purple, and for a moment before him was humble, silent perfection. It was at that moment he realized that perfection could only be defined by the existence of imperfection. Perfection was the space between, be it light or dark. The sun would quickly rise to disappear amid the din of highways, airplanes and river loading docks. But Sid had witnessed it and seized it before it passed. "This moment is perfect," he whispered to himself.

There would be many more moments he would whisper this to himself; moments at dawn, moments in thunderstorms, moments enjoying the company of his wife and daughter. These moments were the building blocks of Sid's temple of perfection that was built in nonlinear time.

Fake Zen Meditation #2

Hu Chi: Master, how will I know the Buddha?

Zen Master: Unenlightened says what.

Hu Chi: What?

Zen Master: You know not the Buddha.