8-Track Fallout

Dear Mom,
One time, you and I were riding in uncle Jeff's car, and he had a new kick butt stereo in there with an 8-track (not to mention a miniature equalizer--neat). Well, I said I wanted to listen to a "Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent. Uncle Jeff said he shouldn't play it for my young ears because it had a naughty word/reference in it. Then you said, "Oh, just play it. He'll never catch it and he won't remember."
Well guess what Mom. YOU WERE WRONG!!! WROOOONNNGGG!!!
I did remember it. And to this day my life has been an utter wreck. Oh, the tragedies that occurred in Jeff's silver Phoenix. How could you?

Things I've Realized Since Becoming a Father #5

I am going to spend so much time trying to avoid the mistakes my parents made with me, that I am going to make glaring mistakes in other areas.

Things I've Realized Since Becoming A Father #4

If you don't have kids, you have a LOT more free time than you think you do.

Fake Zen Meditation #5

Lu Chen asked his teacher, "Master, which way do I go to begin the path?" Teacher pointed to the east and replied, "Walk that way until you have found the path."

Lu Chen was never seen again.

Exclamation Point Update

Well the last few weeks have been both frightening and enlightening. Remember the exclamation point that I thought was following me? Turns out that it really was.

I'm leaving the Kwik E Mart the other night; it's late and I'm alone. Just as I get to my car, I am confronted by the exclamation point and several of its friends. Some of them were American, and some were those upside down foreigners. Needless to say, I was terrified and fully expected the worse.

So what happens? They all just stand there and stare. Then I realized that alone they were harmless to me. It was all the awful words I was casting between them that was making the situation so volatile. All this time, If I had been sending positive words like, "Great!", "Beautiful!", and "I Love You!", there would have never been a problem. I knew right then that I had been wrong about them.

What's more, I realized that there was a reason they were all standing before me. The pattern of right side up and upside down was their way of speaking to me in binary code. Each right side up representing a 0, and each upside down representing a 1. I'll leave the pattern for you in case you'd like to decode it for yourself.

01110010 01100001 01100011 01101001 01110011 01101101 00100000

01100010 01110010 01100101 01100101 01100100 01110011 00100000

01100100 01100101 01110011 01110100 01110010 01110101 01100011 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110

yours truly,

01110011 01101001 01100100

The Ultimate Right Wing Conspiracy

Lefties of America, take heed. Have you been spending all of your extra time working on this abortion issue? Well wake up and smell the elephant dung. The right wing actually WANTS you to have abortions! It's been a smokescreen from the start!

We all know that neoconservatives were born without souls right? So what's the smartest thing the devil ever did? Convince people that he didn't exist. They fight women's rights on every other part of the playing field, so they battle against abortion to rally the Christian right, and at the same time make the feminist movement think that they're losing rights. The reality of the situation is that liberals are being coaxed into aborting their own pregnancies, out of fear that the privilege will be taken. The right wing has tricked the world into forgetting that the most powerful thing a woman can do is HAVE a child.

Now they get everything they want. They get votes from fundamentalists who really DO want abortion outlawed, and they get liberals aborting their pregnancies, thus making for a smaller pool of left wingers who exist to vote against them down the road. What a dirty trick!

Do I actually buy this theory? No, not really.... except for the part about neoconservatives not having souls. But I just thought you might like to chew on it.

Yours Truly,

Sid